EC tips for Newbies and our update

... or could be used when potty training at a more "traditional" age...

One of my friends on Facebook had seen some of the links I'd posted to do with EC... she was wondering if I had any words of advice, since our kids are a few months apart in both cases. She said she'd left it quite late to potty train her eldest, and wanted to try the youngest sooner. She'd seen that we'd been doing pottying with Willow, and wondered how we do it... she was actually very shocked to hear that we'd started with our little one at 3 months.

Here's my reply to her, I thought there might be at least one person out there that these little tips that worked for us, will work for them. Obviously every child, and every parent is different!

Dear N,

Willow has actually been using the potty since she was 3 months old, it's a little hit and miss, but we offer her lots of opportunities and some weeks we catch them all, and others (especially when she's teething) we miss them all.

I potty trained Eve in the more "traditional" sense at about 2 and a half. It was hard work. I think I needed to be ready and relaxed about it more than she did. You have to be prepared for a lot of misses and not worry about it. I found having the potty in the room with us helped. Also a pile of floor cloths and change of trousers, unless you're going to go naked to start with!

Something I've learnt from pottying Willow is to sit with/behind them, and do a favoured activity - for us it's reading a favourite book... maybe singing a song, or something similar? so that they can sit and be happy staying until they're finished?

We use a cue for a wee and a poo. Something like the noise they would naturally make when doing said things... I'm sure you can imagine... it's like a pssss for wee and a grunting type thing for poop.

Also, it helps to watch for the times when they need to wee most... like immediately after waking, I also give both girls the chance to go before bedtime... consistency in offering the potty at certain times helps. I offer the potty before we get into the car, and after we get out. Before she gets in her high chair and when she gets out (unless she did one before)

The other thing I would want to remember is that it's important for them to feel comfortable sitting on the potty, otherwise they won't want to do their business there. It doesn't matter at first if they do anything when you sit them there, you're laying the groundwork for later on.

I'll try and post some photos of us pottying on the blog if you like :)

I hope some of that helps. More than happy to explain any of it if it doesn't make sense :)

I don't like summer either much. Looking forward to autumn and Spring again :)

You should see the plum trees where we live at the moment -- talk about bountiful!!

Han x

I was just thinking about another few things... expectations being one of them (ours, and the kids!) Willow from a really young age expected to be put on the potty when she woke up, and before and after sitting in her high chair. This was down to our routine. Obviously if I left it too late she would wet herself, but as long as we kept doing it she stayed dry. When she was younger Mondays were a real struggle with EC since she would spend 3 or more hours at church in a nappy, with no real opportunity to use the potty (I just found it too distracting to try, and with so many people around she wasn't particularly interested anyway!) Routine and her expectations of us were clearly very important to sucess.

On the other side of the spectrum, our expectations of her have been minimal. It's our job to get her to the potty. If we don't manage in time, and she has an accident, it's our fault, not hers. Keeping the frustration to a minimum is important, even little kids can sense how you are feeling and associate those feelings with what's going on. I'm pretty sure that's why we had such a hard time pottying Eve. Our expectations on her being an older child meant that we got frustrated/cross with her when she would have an accident at times, meaning she would refuse to even sit on the potty at times... and it didn't even occur to me to sit with her... she was fairly independent, and it didn't occur to me that she would need me to!

When Willow was little she would wear a little pair of light trousers that I knew would dry quick. It was still easier to wash these than a big bulky nappy, so it didn't bother me too much if we missed a lot in the day. The purpose of these being to catch any accidental poo mess that might occur. Any liquid accidents were just mopped up with a terry nappy. I worried for a long time that the carpet and house would start smelling of wee, but it never did! I also found out that urine is actually sterile, so it didn't matter too much if I didn't have time to constantly wash the carpet.

At the moment she wears some Motherease Sandys, which are quite thick cloth nappies. They popper up at the sides and have elastic on the waist and legs. They're a little big on her so we can use them easily as training pants... but ones that absorb the majority of her wee's, even big ones. This means that now I'm pregnant and exhausted and feeling the odd twinge of bleugh, I don't have to be mopping up even the occasional wet patch on the carpet. Which is nice. We don't put a wrap on her though, so we always know fairly immediately when she is wet, which means we can try her on the potty to see if there's any more, and then put clean pants on.

Poo-wise Willow doesn't like to poo out of our house. Not even at Grandmas house! Although it does happen it's normally an accident where she couldn't hold it anymore, and I didn't offer the potty soon enough. I can't tell you how wonderful it is not to have to wipe ground-in poop out of all the cracks of your childs butt. Seriously. I realised the other day when we had our first in-nappy accident in about 3-4 months how much I had been taking this for granted. IT ROCKS!

Willow has never really made any specific cues in return to us, which has made things interesting. I think I'm going to try to teach her the ASL sign for potty which is thumb between first and second finger, we'll see how that goes. The problem with the "sshhh" cue is that is crops up with so many of her favourite "words"... for example... cheessse, Ssssh (as in, quiet, someone's sleeping!) and she makes that noise for wasp and flying insects too :s I'm hoping before the baby arrives she'll be able to be a little more independent and sit herself on the potty. Of course this might not be the case. We shall see...

We're going to EC with our new baby from birth. That's the plan. I have amassed some great supplies recently, including nightdresses, which will make pottying easier, and a felted wool pad, which absorbs accidents, and also a felted wool skirt/dress which would be for the same purpose. I'm still thinking about an appropriate receptacle for infant pottying. I could buy a "tophat" potty which sits inbetween your knee when you're feeding or whatever, but I've also seen someone pottying a tiny baby with a small ceramic bowl. So I'm on the hunt. I need to get myself out to a car boot sale before the season ends!!


I haven't got any photos of her on the potty to show off I'm afraid, but I'll make an effort to try to take some this week to post next time.