Sorry mum, I know you think this statue is one step away from being pornographic. I think it is beautiful. I think that we need to change our perspective of what birth is.
Just having a few thoughts and reading about some peoples experiences of birth. Especially birth after cesarean. Anyone who knows me knows I am planning to give birth at home this time, as last time should have been without the interference of midwives who really did not have my best interests at heart and delivered me to the idiots at the hospital who decided that my contractions were not good enough (couldn't possibly have been because I wasn't comfortable enough to labour naturally and didn't actually *want* to release my baby into such a negative atmosphere... of course not)
Anyway, just came across this in one ladys' birth story. She is passionate...
Listen to me! Birth matters! But no one is going to give you a great birth. You must claim it for yourself, and demand your autonomy be respected. Your baby needs you to be a fierce, proud, protective mother tiger for her: babies suffer terribly in medicalized childbirth too, and no one even cares to know. It hurts to be suctioned; it hurts to have mommy's uterus clamp violently down in induced contractions. Babies dearly want darkness and smooth warm skin- not infant "crash carts", strange gloved hands and cold blinding lights. Babies feel sorrow. They feel desolate when they cry and cry- cry from their very souls- and are not heard. Babies feel everything- every tremor of emotion, every bleak sense of neglect. They feel pain. They remember pain too... did you know that when a child is born in pain they are up to five times more likely to commit violent suicide later in life?
Here is her full story.
I think a lot of people would think that I am being selfish by choosing to birth at home. That I am putting myself and my baby at risk. I'd like to say that I am actually not. Not at all. I have weighed the statistics carefully, I have read the way that VBAC mums are "allowed" to labour in hospital. I cannot believe the time restrictions they put on women giving birth without a CS scar, let alone those of women unfortunate to have a scar. "Sorry, your time is up, it's time to get you into surgery for a repeat CS" -- there's nothing *actually* wrong with mum or baby, the time they "allow" you to labour is just finished. How do they decide on this time? As far as I know it's some arbitrary figure pulled out of some consultant obstetricians backside! Seriously?
Did you know that a mother having a CS is 16 times more likely to die than a woman who has a vaginal delivery? Not something they tell you as you sign the consent form. Not even when you're planning a repeat CS following a primary CS.
I want you all to know that *I* am accepting the responsibility for this choice. I am not offering myself or my baby up to anyone, especially not a consultant in a hospital. I don't feel the need to pretend that they can make my choices and take the responsibility for the outcomes. *I* am the only one who can do that. *I* am responsible for what happened last time. I made the final (although bullied) decision to transfer. *I* signed that consent form to have Eve surgically extracted from me, despite there being actually no medical reason to do so, other than me being physically and emotionally beaten by the system. I don't intend on being subject to their policies and procedures again.
I could talk about all the risks of a hospital birth. Of increased chance of infection, post-partum haemorage.... The fact that you'd be unlikely to have 1:1 care and as shifts change you'll be unlikely to have the same MW all the way through your labour. That the CS rate is 25% in this country even though NICE recommend a CS rate of less than 10% and many countries manage something like 5%. I don't know if I need to point out the massive risk of major abdominal surgery... baby can be cut accidentally, adversely affected by the anaesthetic used, unable to breastfeed effectively because of this, babies also have a higher risk of breathing difficulties due to not being squeezed through the birth canal as nature intended. That due to intakes of student MWs and docs you may be subject to violent procedures simply so that the students can learn.
Did you know that in this country only 1 in 6 women expecting their first baby, and 1 in 3 women expecting subsequent babies will have a normal, straightforward birth? That's not to say that birth is dangerous, just that when interfered with and when others get involved, things tend not to be as straightforward as they could be if mum was left alone to her own autonomy and respected and empowered for the task she is actually there to do, and is the best placed person to decide how, where and when to do this. It is strange how in countries which use less "sophisticated" techniques and machinery, have better infant and maternal outcomes.
Did you know that constant electonic foetal monitoring actually does not improve outcomes for the mother or baby, that in fact it leads to an increased likelihood of CS?
Did you know that an epidural can interfere with your bodies natural release of oxcytocin hormones and is likely to impair the bonding between you and your baby? In turn this can lead to a higher chance of postnatal depression.
Did you know that pethadine and diamorphine are actually opiate based drugs (akin to heroine) do you really want to risk this crossing the placenta after 9 mths of not even taking a paracetamol? Why risk it now?? Will they actually warn you about the effects of these drugs before you allow yourself to be injected with them?
Does anyone tell you that actually the baby having the cord wrapped around it's neck isn't a big deal (as long as the cord isn't cut before the baby is free) that actually it's a good thing - the baby is protecting itself from cord prolapse (where the cord enters the birth canal before the babys' head, and can become compressed, cutting off the babys' supply of oxygen from the placenta.
Incidentally, does anyone inform VBAC mums that the risk of uterine rupture is only 0.38%, compared to a risk of 2.7% for cord prolapse -- this can happen to anyone!! Uterine rupture can also happen to women who have never had a CS, especially those who have had their labours induced or augmented. Why is UR made such a huge deal out of, when it's such a tiny risk, and could be made even tinier if hospitals chose not to induce/augment VBAC mothers? The MW I saw earlier in my pregnancy even suggested that I should book in at a local hospital which allows induction in VBAC mothers, as this would be "another option" for me other than a repeat CS. Well, actually, NO. I won't be subjecting myself or my child to the risk of induction or a repeat CS simply to follow procedure, simply because my time limit of 42 weeks from an incorrectly calculated due date is reached. Does anyone even mention the option of expectant management?? Of waiting and seeing, rather than jumping in and pulling out a baby who is not ready to be born? No. Because this would interfere with their system, with their schedule, because it's more difficult to schedule a series of monitoring sessions to check on the well-being of a baby than simply scheduling a repeat CS that lasts 30min, given that there's no complications. They feel more in control this way I expect. But SURELY we should be being given the option?? Why is it those who are informed and standing up for their rights to make their own decisions managing this? It's MADNESS.
What I hope for my baby is a gentle birth, the way that I believe God intended it to be. I want to bond with my baby without the interference of tests and cleaning and all of that. I don't think that this is selfish in any way. I just think I have a very different perspective on the situation than most people in our culture, who are lead to believe that birth is an emergency, that it needs to be managed by "experts". Tell me who was present when Adam and Eves' babies were born? Themselves and God. I fully intend to trust in the instincts God has given me and in the promptings I recieve from Him, since He after all is the one who has designed this female form so perfectly.
My body is *not* defective. I *can* give birth naturally and without any form of help/interference. Everyone gives birth differently, and simply because I am outside of the accepted norm, does not mean I am actually abnormal. Any process which is observed is necessarily changed for being observed: this is a basic physical law. I do not need to have anyone who is fearful of birth as a process affecting my emotional state when I'm in labour. In fact, I *will not* subject myself to a fearful presence when I am in labour. I have learnt enough from nature to understand that when an animal is labouring you don't disturb it. Be it cat, deer, cow... If interefered with things go wrong, and if things eventually go right, the mother is quite likely to reject the young. We are after all mammals, we do have a higher conciousness imparted to us, but our bodies are basically mammalian.
That's not everything I want to say, but I need to go to bed.
Anyway, just came across this in one ladys' birth story. She is passionate...
Listen to me! Birth matters! But no one is going to give you a great birth. You must claim it for yourself, and demand your autonomy be respected. Your baby needs you to be a fierce, proud, protective mother tiger for her: babies suffer terribly in medicalized childbirth too, and no one even cares to know. It hurts to be suctioned; it hurts to have mommy's uterus clamp violently down in induced contractions. Babies dearly want darkness and smooth warm skin- not infant "crash carts", strange gloved hands and cold blinding lights. Babies feel sorrow. They feel desolate when they cry and cry- cry from their very souls- and are not heard. Babies feel everything- every tremor of emotion, every bleak sense of neglect. They feel pain. They remember pain too... did you know that when a child is born in pain they are up to five times more likely to commit violent suicide later in life?
Here is her full story.
I think a lot of people would think that I am being selfish by choosing to birth at home. That I am putting myself and my baby at risk. I'd like to say that I am actually not. Not at all. I have weighed the statistics carefully, I have read the way that VBAC mums are "allowed" to labour in hospital. I cannot believe the time restrictions they put on women giving birth without a CS scar, let alone those of women unfortunate to have a scar. "Sorry, your time is up, it's time to get you into surgery for a repeat CS" -- there's nothing *actually* wrong with mum or baby, the time they "allow" you to labour is just finished. How do they decide on this time? As far as I know it's some arbitrary figure pulled out of some consultant obstetricians backside! Seriously?
Did you know that a mother having a CS is 16 times more likely to die than a woman who has a vaginal delivery? Not something they tell you as you sign the consent form. Not even when you're planning a repeat CS following a primary CS.
I want you all to know that *I* am accepting the responsibility for this choice. I am not offering myself or my baby up to anyone, especially not a consultant in a hospital. I don't feel the need to pretend that they can make my choices and take the responsibility for the outcomes. *I* am the only one who can do that. *I* am responsible for what happened last time. I made the final (although bullied) decision to transfer. *I* signed that consent form to have Eve surgically extracted from me, despite there being actually no medical reason to do so, other than me being physically and emotionally beaten by the system. I don't intend on being subject to their policies and procedures again.
I could talk about all the risks of a hospital birth. Of increased chance of infection, post-partum haemorage.... The fact that you'd be unlikely to have 1:1 care and as shifts change you'll be unlikely to have the same MW all the way through your labour. That the CS rate is 25% in this country even though NICE recommend a CS rate of less than 10% and many countries manage something like 5%. I don't know if I need to point out the massive risk of major abdominal surgery... baby can be cut accidentally, adversely affected by the anaesthetic used, unable to breastfeed effectively because of this, babies also have a higher risk of breathing difficulties due to not being squeezed through the birth canal as nature intended. That due to intakes of student MWs and docs you may be subject to violent procedures simply so that the students can learn.
Did you know that in this country only 1 in 6 women expecting their first baby, and 1 in 3 women expecting subsequent babies will have a normal, straightforward birth? That's not to say that birth is dangerous, just that when interfered with and when others get involved, things tend not to be as straightforward as they could be if mum was left alone to her own autonomy and respected and empowered for the task she is actually there to do, and is the best placed person to decide how, where and when to do this. It is strange how in countries which use less "sophisticated" techniques and machinery, have better infant and maternal outcomes.
Did you know that constant electonic foetal monitoring actually does not improve outcomes for the mother or baby, that in fact it leads to an increased likelihood of CS?
Did you know that an epidural can interfere with your bodies natural release of oxcytocin hormones and is likely to impair the bonding between you and your baby? In turn this can lead to a higher chance of postnatal depression.
Did you know that pethadine and diamorphine are actually opiate based drugs (akin to heroine) do you really want to risk this crossing the placenta after 9 mths of not even taking a paracetamol? Why risk it now?? Will they actually warn you about the effects of these drugs before you allow yourself to be injected with them?
Does anyone tell you that actually the baby having the cord wrapped around it's neck isn't a big deal (as long as the cord isn't cut before the baby is free) that actually it's a good thing - the baby is protecting itself from cord prolapse (where the cord enters the birth canal before the babys' head, and can become compressed, cutting off the babys' supply of oxygen from the placenta.
Incidentally, does anyone inform VBAC mums that the risk of uterine rupture is only 0.38%, compared to a risk of 2.7% for cord prolapse -- this can happen to anyone!! Uterine rupture can also happen to women who have never had a CS, especially those who have had their labours induced or augmented. Why is UR made such a huge deal out of, when it's such a tiny risk, and could be made even tinier if hospitals chose not to induce/augment VBAC mothers? The MW I saw earlier in my pregnancy even suggested that I should book in at a local hospital which allows induction in VBAC mothers, as this would be "another option" for me other than a repeat CS. Well, actually, NO. I won't be subjecting myself or my child to the risk of induction or a repeat CS simply to follow procedure, simply because my time limit of 42 weeks from an incorrectly calculated due date is reached. Does anyone even mention the option of expectant management?? Of waiting and seeing, rather than jumping in and pulling out a baby who is not ready to be born? No. Because this would interfere with their system, with their schedule, because it's more difficult to schedule a series of monitoring sessions to check on the well-being of a baby than simply scheduling a repeat CS that lasts 30min, given that there's no complications. They feel more in control this way I expect. But SURELY we should be being given the option?? Why is it those who are informed and standing up for their rights to make their own decisions managing this? It's MADNESS.
What I hope for my baby is a gentle birth, the way that I believe God intended it to be. I want to bond with my baby without the interference of tests and cleaning and all of that. I don't think that this is selfish in any way. I just think I have a very different perspective on the situation than most people in our culture, who are lead to believe that birth is an emergency, that it needs to be managed by "experts". Tell me who was present when Adam and Eves' babies were born? Themselves and God. I fully intend to trust in the instincts God has given me and in the promptings I recieve from Him, since He after all is the one who has designed this female form so perfectly.
My body is *not* defective. I *can* give birth naturally and without any form of help/interference. Everyone gives birth differently, and simply because I am outside of the accepted norm, does not mean I am actually abnormal. Any process which is observed is necessarily changed for being observed: this is a basic physical law. I do not need to have anyone who is fearful of birth as a process affecting my emotional state when I'm in labour. In fact, I *will not* subject myself to a fearful presence when I am in labour. I have learnt enough from nature to understand that when an animal is labouring you don't disturb it. Be it cat, deer, cow... If interefered with things go wrong, and if things eventually go right, the mother is quite likely to reject the young. We are after all mammals, we do have a higher conciousness imparted to us, but our bodies are basically mammalian.
That's not everything I want to say, but I need to go to bed.
A lovely post Han. You have put everything so well. I can understand your mum's opinion of the statue...it is quite shocking, but only because our society has been used to keeping all that under wraps. It is just something you don't talk about or see...isn't that why so many first time mum's end up with a troublesome birth? We go in to it with a major lack of knowledge or support from the experienced generation, so we only have the 'professionals' to entrust ourselves to, and in such a vulnerable state too (although, there are the exceptions, of course).
ReplyDeleteHrmmph.
Where did you find that picture? It's gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteA lady on one of the forums I use has it as her profile picture/avatar... we've done some investigation, and no-one really knows where it's from! If you find out, please let me know!!
ReplyDeletego tiger!¬
ReplyDeleteI do often think that adam and eve's babies were born without doctors. the Son of God was born in a barn, likely without a midwife. how unsanitary ;)! Im not sure that the baby Jesus was protected from dying in spite of the way he was born. dont you suspect that HF may have purposely planned the birth to occur that way to keep meddling hands away from Mary during her birth? I wonder.
ReplyDeleteReally interesting post.. I'd love to hear what else you have to say on the matter. I don't know if you've seen my post on my VBAC but mine was in hospital. I wasn't brave enough to go for a home birth, as although my CS may have been preventable, Cara was actually stuck in my birth canal forehead first, so I'm not sure if I could have managed this by myself. I do agree that hospital staff are often trying to work to their timescales, but some, I know it's rare, midwives are actually fantastic! I was lucky enough to have one of those, and the same one throughout my time in hospital, but there was still rules that she had to stick to, like having me moniterd, and so despite my asking about being able to move around with this on, and being told I could. When it came to it, I couldn't, it hardly stayed on my bump even when I was laid on my back - not what I wanted. So.. I maybe would be inclined to go for a home birth if I was to have more children... however I would not rule out going to hospital, if needed. Plenty of people do give birth without so-called professional advice - however lots of people also die from childbirth, and not too many do in this country.. I'm not sure of statistics, but I have a friend in my ward here who has just come back from Indonesia, where she was working as a midwife - a lot of people do die out there. Our bodies are amazing! But just like everything else in our lives, they are not actually perfect. I don't mean to put a downer on things, I just mean to be realistic - not everyone would be fine if we all laboured by ourselves at home. But the chances are that everything will be fine for you, and the great thing is that if you decided that you felt something was wrong you could dial a number and be at a hospital in no time, whereas in these other countries they can not.
ReplyDeleteGood Luck with your birth! I wish you all the best. I'd love to hear about how it all goes.
Hedge, I hear what you are saying. You are right, there are some good midwives out there. A lot of them have left the NHS though. Some of them lie to pregnant women who don't know any better, some of them are just doing a job, they don't necessarily have any compassion for the feelings of those they are intended to serve. That has been my experience.
ReplyDeleteI have to say I did read your VBAC story some weeks ago, and this is just an opinion, but I was angry that they put you through so many needless interventions. But you know what -- you still managed it despite all that!
Maybe my opinions would be different if my experience had been different, but the midwives who attended my labour had only one interest - getting me to either have the baby or transferred as soon as possible so they could go home. They were not interested in my wellbeing in the slightest. That is a strong statement, but one that is true. I've also been lied to and labelled as a "walking scar waiting to rupture" please excuse me if I choose not to trust these people who do not trust my ability to know my body.
No, our bodies are not perfect, but they are not so far gone that we need a doctor to tell us how, where and when to give birth.
I am having trouble letting go of the loss of my daughters birth. It may be irrational, and yes, I still have a healthy child but there are scars in me now which will never fully heal. Emotionally and physically. I see history repeating itself and it terrifies me.
Oh, and the country in particular I refer to as using "less sophisticated techniques and machinery" is Holland. They have mainly homebirths out there, *and* they have a better maternal and neonatal record than we do here.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure there are vast amounts of reasons women in Indonesia die... poverty, malnutrition and infection. But we don't have those problems here, so it shouldn't be used as an excuse to round us up like cattle. Incidentally a farmer would never treat his livestock in the way that pregnant and labouring women are treated. And everyone knows to leave cats and other animals alone when they are about to give birth. Why are our bodies so different?
You might find this interesting...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCfSZn28FgM
I do understand what you are saying. As I said, I think I was really lucky to have such a great midwife this time round, without her I don't know what would have happened. I also had a great experience with midwives and consultants during my pregnancy who were all pro-VBAC, but I do know that others experience this differently also, my sister being one of them. It turns out my midwife was very newly qualified.. maybe that's why she was still enthusiastic!
ReplyDeleteOur bodies are amazing! I really felt that this time, and I also think that pain relief, although it does relieve pain, it's not until I started with the gas and air that I then felt I needed it.. You are definitely right that the UK does not do great in this area. I think it would be great if home births were the norm, with only real emergencies - not just long labour's - going in to hospital.
Are you having anyone present with you when you labour? A doula? or a private midwife?
I've just found out recently that the statue in the photo I've used is located in Paris, France. That's all the information I have at the moment...
ReplyDeleteIf we're ever in Paris, It'll be my top priority to track it down!!
lovely post. hbac easy peasy! take away the hospitals, the lies, the bs, homebirth was just simple and easy.
ReplyDelete